That Which I Value

I had just closed down work for the day when I decided to take a nap before heading home. No sooner had I dozed off when I had the following dream..

I found myself in a strange rock-strewn landscape. Twilight covered almost everything in shadow but there was enough of a golden glow in the horizon. A forlorn feeling hung in the air as if this world was full of regret and disappointment. 

As I wandered through this desert-like place, I discovered that what I thought were rocks were actually moldering piles of all sorts of worldly treasures: broken gold bars, dirt-encrusted jewels, rags that were once  tailored suits, wrecks of cars and boats, toppled monuments and in the distance ruins of mansions and palaces. I also noticed fluttering like dry leaves in the autumn wind, dried up pieces of paper that could only be torn pages of books, photographs, documents and lots of ripped up bills and checks. Indeed the whole place looked like it was filled with all that had value - except they were in such a sorry state of ruin they were no more than trash.

In this junkyard of vanity, I noticed another soul watching me.. He beckoned me to follow him and together we walked among the debris in silence until I found the courage to speak.

"Sir" I asked, "What is this place?"

My companion answered, "It is the place where one discards all that he bears without value before he can be judged fit for Heaven." 

I looked around at the refuse of treasure and  nodded understanding.

"Indeed no one can take any of these beyond the grave. All these wealth, power and glory are but dross in the economy of Heaven and are counted worthless."

"True." my companion replied, "But do you not see how so much of what has been discarded are  things of true and precious value?"  

I followed his gaze as he looked down at the ground. To my surprised I noticed that it was full of crumbling books, newspapers, portraits in gilt frames and every kind of document certifying expertise,education and philanthropy  The shifting dust also revealed checks donating huge sums to all sorts of noble causes as well as broken collection plates and tithing bags.

My companion stooped and carefully picked up a crumbling medical text. Gently brushing the dust from its cover, he  gently explained,

"The worldly dross you have seen has been left here with regret and disappointment. But these have been shamelessly discarded.  Family, Knowledge, Charity and Good Deeds - all these have been dropped willingly and without thought  

Consider this medical tome. It contains the knowledge to heal and set straight the ailments of the body. But the man who read it chose to keep that knowledge in the back of his man for it gave him no profit or brought little to increase his stature before men. Knowledge Unused is like an empty goblet to man dying of thirst. while Knowledge Misused is a vial of poison to one in need of medicine..

I stared in deep thought as he gently replaced the book on the ground. There was little doubt I had little worldly goods to leave here but I worried what pearls have I cast to the swine. 

My Companion must have sensed my dilemma for he said, "You must learn to value three things."

I waited in excitement at what these were.

"First you must value yourself."

This response caught me off guard but he raised his hand and continued.

"I do not mean raise your self up in pride and self-arrogance. Rather, remember that there is only one you. Therefore how much value you place on your being - your body, your mind, your soul  determines what you would willingly leave here"

I confidently answered, "Surely I have valued my body well enough to keep it fed, clothed, clean and free from disease. My mind I have valued well enough to keep it filled with knowledge put to good use and my soul, by my devotions to God"

My Companion responded, "Indeed you have but valuing your body goes beyond feeding and bathing it. You must see that it is undefiled by sin, steered away from the company of evil, shielded from lust, and stripped of anything trivial, worthless and unholy."

"To truly value your mind means to bridle it from running wild with filthy imagination, idle thought, and worthless trivia. You must give it focused and inspired"

"To truly value your soul means more than just daily prayer, good deeds, occasional reading of the Holy Writ or three hours of ritual and ceremony. You must garnish it with virtue, living what you know to believe and know to be true and worshiping with acts of faith and service" 

"What you do turn into a better you determines how much you value yourself."

I bowed my head in humbled acceptance.

"Next you must value others"

I looked at the scattered photographs and portraits, the donation checks and thought I understood.

My Companion gave a knowing smile and nodded.

"Yes valuing others does include honoring your family, providing for them. But there is more than just bringing home the bacon. You value your family when you put it's well-being above the honors of the world. Do not delude yourself into thinking that all you do is for their good when in truth, it is more for you. Do not let work be an excuse to spend less time with your children. Never let her being your help-meet be reason to leave the raising of your offspring to your wife. Your being the head of the family should not give you reason to turn away your son's request for play so you could nap; scowl in disappointment at your daughter's low grades, or mumbled responses to your wife as she tries to tell you of her day.

I cringe with guilt as his words struck home.

:"The value you give others is manifested  when you chose to forgive wrongdoings in order to restore friendship, keep confidences, and refuse to take advantage of their words and generosity. You value your neighbor not just for the good he can do you but when you do not envy his fortune, speak ill of his faults, or begrudge his actions.".

I now began to see how much of a treasure trove had I been carelessly been dumping on the grounds of this forsaken world that I openly began to weep.

My Companion gently placed a hand in comfort upon my shoulder and gently whispered.. 

"That's why you must value me above all"

Shock jolted my being. Suddenly I realized who my Companion was. My knees quaked as I realized I had not recognized He valued me above all His creations and the One I valued as Friend, Savior and God. I wanted to leap with joy and tell him that. However vivid memories of how often I cruelly nailed Him back on the that cruel cross with each wanton misdeed and denial assaulted my mind and bound my tongue. Revulsion at my worthlessness  ripped out whatever pride and arrogance I had in myself. I sank to the ground writhing in agony and despair, my wails rending the air, as I begged for mercy. .

"Please Lord, cast me not out!"

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